#Titanic2012

With the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic looming on the horizon there has been a load of television,books,movies about that fateful night making the rounds. I'll fully admit that the Titanic is one of my favorite historical "things". I'll watch almost any show about it on History or NatGeo Channel, I had a brief obsession with the movie (Give me a break, I was like 18 and went to see it with my boyfriend...there's a metaphor for our relationship in there somewhere.) I am thoroughly enjoying the James Cameron special airing on NatGeo right now and am looking forward to the Ballard special airing tomorrow night.
On the lighter side of things (yeah I know it was a tragedy, dont lecture me) the hashtag Titanic2012 was trending on Twitter tonight and I literally laughed myself to tears over a few of these tweets.
It is basically the sinking of the Titanic/Movie! Titanic if it were to happen in our tech savvy always connected world today...

Here's a few of my favorittes, and my 3 contributions:

@ErinPatricia: Congratulations! You just unlocked the Hypothermia Sticker on Get Glue! #titanic2012

@ErinPatricia: KingofDaWorld, RichGirlRose just ousted you as the Mayor of Floating Door! #Titanic2012

@ErinPatricia: string quartet on deck, wouldn't play Freebird. Lame. 4/10 Would not recommend. #Titanic2012

@maureenjohnson ‏ YELP REVIEW "Trip ended before arrival in NYC. Water very cold. Many fatalities. Terrible buffet. Would not recommend." #titanic2012

@maureenjohnson I just ousted the Giant Sea Serpent as the Mayor of the North Atlantic Ocean on @foursquare. #titanic2012

@brandg: Don't worry. Ice can't cut metal. I saw it on Mythbusters! #Titanic2012

@SVAllie: Allie just checked in at N. Atlantic ocean with 2563 other people. #titanic2012

@ebonyMckenna stupid Google maps, telling me to get to promenade deck via back stairs. Hello, gate is locked!!! #titanic2012

@SVAllie: This life boat doesn't have a recharge station for laptops or phones??? Omg. So 1990s. Lame. #titanic2012

@EbonyMcKenna Rose DW unfriended Caledon Hockley #titanic2012
@EbonyMcKenna Titanic just friended Carpathia #titanic2012
@EbonyMcKenna Can I get wifi on the lifeboats? I need to keep tweeting this. #titanic2012

@BlakeMP WebMD diagnosed my symptoms as "bouncing off a propeller on the way down." I KNEW it. #titanic2012

@literaticat Klout says I'm influential about Icebergs, Life Rafts, Survival. I say I'm influential about Elbowing a Bitch Out the Way! LOL. #Titanic2012

@BlakeMP NOBODY PANIC. Google+ will save your pictures automatically. #Titanic2012

@ixtumea You mean I can't get the internet out here? #titanic2012

RT @itsapear "@maureenjohnson Siri, where is the nearest lifeboat? #titanic2012"

@missapples22 The Titanic Broke in Half (Taken with Instagram) #titanic2012

@maureenjohnson Terrible valet service. I think someone had sex in my car. #titanic2012

@BrittaniMai "Is it so hard to make a decent salad on a damn boat? I repeatedly asked for Romaine Lettuce but all they had was Iceberg. " #titanic2012

@Whitnage Yelp Review:Class divisions not strictly enforced. Lost my fiancée,diamond necklace,&coat to a 3rd class chap.Do Not Recommend #titanic2012

There are about 100 more...search the hashtag if you wanna read them all :)

Conversations with... Blake

This is something that I might have show up occasionally, funny conversations or texts shared with friends. I say might only because I'm rubbish at actually updating this on any kind of a regular basis.

First up is a conversation I had with Blake the other day.
He's coming up to Pittsburgh to spend his Thanksgiving holiday with me, the same week that Jay Z and Kanye West are coming here in concert. Now I'm not the biggest rap fan out there, but I like both of these artists music enough to want to go. Really want to go. Blake on the other hand, can't stand Kanye West personally.

(DISCLAIMER: I dont always use capitalization, punctuation, and all that when I'm texting)

ERIN: So jay z and kanye west are here nov 27. if i had tickets would you go with?

BLAKE: I love you more than the sun and the moon and Fruit Stripe Gum. But I would rather have my balls gnawed off by hamsters than go to a Kanye West concert.

ERIN: What if I say please?

BLAKE: I will kiss you and say I love you but Kanye should be run over with a steamroller and kicked into a pit filled incontinent skunks

ERIN: But I want to see Jay Z. What if I make "that" face?

BLAKE: I will kiss that face and find you Jay Z clips on Youtube

ERIN: ... you realize this whole conversation might end up a blog post.

BLAKE:...OK Sweetheart, as long as it's clear my objection is because Kanye is a despicable human waste with an empty soul and a ball of stupid where his brain should be.

Schadenfreude:

–noun
satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.

example: finding a mugshot on Google of someone you know, and laughing your ass off about it while sending certain other people the link.

...She Walked In Through The Out Door...

You Otter Be In Pictures...

Today my Mother and I took my brother and his 2 daughters to the Pittsburgh Zoo for Fathers Day.
Elise (4) and Lydia(3) love, Love, LOVE the Zoo...and the extra added bonus of having Daddy there (Aunt Erin and Gramma Tricia usually take the girls to the Zoo) made this a fantastic day.
We saw Tigers, and Lions and Elephants.
The Elephants were drinking, which led to me explaining to a 4 year old how their trunks work, and one of them pooped, which is OMG AMAZING THEY POOP SO BIG!! After that we go past some Giraffs, some Springboks (Which Elise is convinced are reindeer and Lydia wanted to know where Santa was hiding...we don't like Santa) and one old Rhino.
We saw Monkeys in the Primate House, The silly Gibbons swinging around, the Orangutang picking at his feet was good for some laughs, Elise thinks the Babboon is really a very hairy Pig, and the Gorillas were making weird noises.
We skirt around the food area as Aunt Erin digs into her bookbag to pull out some water and snack packs of cookies (Zoo food is overpriced, man) We skim past the Bears, who are obviously dying in the heat and have decided that they will do nothing more but lie around being big hairy lumps of fur and approach the Aquarium part of the zoo.

Cheers from the Peanuts, since we've been bugging Daddy and Aunt Erin for half an hour now to see the Jellyfish OMG JELLYFISH JJJEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

We walk into the Aquarium, check out all of the tanks with fish from different places in the USA.
Search for, and find, Nemo and Dory and all of their friends and giggle at the Penguins.
God Bless the Penguins, no matter when we go to the zoo there is always at least one Penguin who chills out in the water, swimming inches past the smooshed to the glass faces of the kids...and some adults (shut up Blake)

Lo and Behold! Right next to the Penguins are the Jellyfish!!! OMG JELLYFISH!! Happiness is achieved, everyone is happy...for a minute.
Then we have to move on, because what we have been badgering the adults about ALL FREAKING DAY, well we've seen them. Bored now. Move on.

Off to the Polar Bears...Mister Polar Bear is 80% submerged and dying of heat, not very interesting...

After the Polar Bear comes the Sea Otter...Oh you little bastard Sea Otter.

There are two of them, swimming around, looking all cute and innocent. Lies, all lies.

Lydia gets out of her stroller and smooshes her face up against the glass, Elise is with Daddy, looking at the Otters from another window.

Lydia gets excited, "Aunt Erin he's coming closer!!" Indeed he is, the blessed little creature is cruising around on his back, inches from the glass much to the delight of the kids.
He gets closer and closer, and proceeds to do a little otter flip in the water as he cruises up to Lydia...and when he breaks the surface again he is still swimming on his back, only now his wet, pink, erect Sea Otter penis is out for all the world to see.

And see it Lydia did.

"Aunt Erin!! Whats That?!? *Pointing*

"UM....Thats his finger"

"Oh, ok."

Guy behind me with kid: "Nice cover"
Me: "Thanks"

Lydia: "Aunt Erin! Why is the Otter sucking on his finger!? Does he have a boo-boo?"

Aunt Erin: "..."

Guy Behind Me "LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF"

Aunt Erin: "Ok we're done here, wanna go see the Sharks?"

Lydia: "No I wanna watch the Otter"

*Headdesk*

Otter Auto Fellatio....you try saying that five times fast.

Blast from the Past

The New Orleans Saints SuperBowl Drinking Game

brought to me by Kevin over at Strange City Heroes...
(those are 2 different links, check them both out)

The New Orleans Saints SuperBowl Drinking Game:

1. Every time they mention hurricane Katrina, drink 1

2. If they show pictures of the City of New Orleans right after Katrina, drink 1

3. Every time they say how much the Saints mean to the City of New Orleans, drink 1

4. Every time the words “tragedy”, “flood”, or “devastation” are used, drink 1

5. Every time they talk about how good Reggie Bush was in college, drink 3

6. If they show Kim Kardashian in the stands, drink 5

7. Every time they show a picture of Reggie Bush with a bat or say “bringing the wood” drink for 5 seconds.

8. Every time Reggie Bush gets negative yardage trying to run around in the backfield a bunch and outrun the defense, drink 1 and turn to the person next to you and say “I told you Vince Young should have won the Heisman”

9. Every time Reggie Bush gets up and flexes his arms in that pose he likes to do, drink 1

10. If they mention Tim Tebow for any reason, funnel a beer

11. Every time they say that “it’s destiny for the Saints to win” drink 1

12. they show footage of Katrina survivors at the Superdome, take a shot of cheap liquor

13. If they call Saints fans the most passionate fans in football, drink 1

14. If they say that the Saints, Saints fans, or the City of New Orleans “deserve” a Superbowl victory, drink 1

15. Every time they say how good of a story the Saints are, drink 1

16. If Jeremy Shockey pretends to be hurt after dropping a pass, drink 2

17. If they mention the Saints beating the Falcons in 2006 in the first game after Katrina in the Superdome, drink 5 and remember that we are still a better football team with better fans.

18. Every time they compare hurricane Katrina to the Haiti earthquake, funnel a beer and yell “bullshit!”

19. Every time they mention Drew Brees as the Mardi Gras king, drink

20. Every time they show Archie Manning, drink 1, and mention how bad he sucked. If they show old footage of him on the Saints, drink 5. If they mention how tough of a decision it was for him as for whom to cheer for, drink 10.

21. Every time they show a saints fan yelling "Who dat!" Or a sign/shirt saying the same, drink 1.

22. If they show Chris Paul at the game, drink 1 and mention to someone how much better he is than Marvin Williams.

23. If they show former Mayor Ray Nagin, drink 5 and then punch someone in the face.

Other Rules not involving the Saints:

1. Every time they show Eli Manning in the press box, drink 1
2. Every time Pierre Garcon is mentioned with Haiti, drink 1
3. If Brett Favre is mentioned for any reason, drink 1

Eat N' Park's the Place for ...Santa?

Dear Sammy Sosa... (#7)

Ummm,

Is there something you want to tell us?

Cause this is you at the Latin Grammy Awards in Las Vegas on Wednesday...



and this was you at an event in May.




May was only 6 months ago.
6 months.
Six.

Just curious.

Erin

P.S.

Srsly? WTF?


(h/t to www.dlisted.com)

She's going to steal my breath tonight...

May I present to you....

The 96.1 KISS Morning Freak Show G-20 Drinking Game!

It's time for CRAZY G-20 coverage on TV and since most of us will be staying away from the madness and staying home....

WHY NOT DRINK?!

***ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY - DRINKING IS NOT COOL, NEITHER ARE DRINKING GAMES***

Here are the rules to our very own G-20 DRINKING GAME:

TAKE 1 DRINK IF:

* The phrase "peaceful protest" is used
* A KDKA reporter is shown in one of their new, fancy blue ponchos
* The phrase "rolling closures" is used
* The Greenpeace "West End Bridge" banner is shown
* The number of police officers in a given location is reporter
* Jon Delano from KDKA sends a tweet from INSIDE the convention center
* Pictures are shown of a boarded up business in an area OTHER than Downtown
* The dimensions of any type of fence and/or wall around Downtown are given
* The number of computers/phones/internet connections in the Convention Center is given
* Coast Guard river patrol boats are shown

TAKE 2 DRINKS IF:

* The "Seeds of Peace" protesters are mentioned
* The Pittsburgh media interviews a reporter from another country about how they like the city
* Michelle Obama's name is mentioned
* Ravenstahl and Onorato are mentioned/interviewed within 1 minute of each other
* Protesters are being taken away in handcuffs
* A protester with a long beard and/or "dreads" is interviewed

TAKE 3 DRINKS IF:

* A protestor is taken away by cops kicking/screaming like a front row Michael Jackson fan
* Tear gas is used on protesters
* Protesters throw feces

TAKE 4 DRINKS IF:

* John Shumway/Jon Greiner/Rick Earle is hit with protester feces

You asked with your eyes Trent, you asked with your eyes.

I Won The Cup (I'm On A Boat Parody)

The Pens winning the Stanley Cup is never gonna get old for me. Never.

This song is NSFW, it's a parody of a rap song by T. Pain, so no bitching when they start dropping F Bombs.

You have been warned.

Think McFly! Think!

Bonus: Fun with soundboards

We're on thin ice here...

Tot Skating class at BladeRunners last friday.
Oh. My. God.
Children with weapons on their feet falling and flying around.
Elise had fun till she fell, then after a promise of ice cream she went back out on the ice on one condition...
"I don't wanna skate I wanna pway hockey!!"

Thats my girl.

You can't make this stuff up...

Craigslist scares me...
I figured Id scare you all too.
And yes, I stole this idea from PittGirl.

((SOME OF THESE LINKS ARE NOT SAFE FOR ANYONE! You have been warned))

He sounds like a catch...

Ummm....EWWWWW

I...I'm pretty sure I know EXACTLY who this is.

How is "Built like a Coke Machine" a good thing?

*shudder*

My favorite "Hope" photoshops so far...

props to Mondesi's House

El Oh El

Pirates at the Chick-fil-A and failed attempts to share!

Sit down Grammy!


Plus!
Watch Lydia try to escape while Aunt Erin almost chokes on her Lemonade beacause of her laughing and failcold!

Not that there is anything wrong with that...