Today my Mother and I took my brother and his 2 daughters to the Pittsburgh Zoo for Fathers Day.
Elise (4) and Lydia(3) love, Love, LOVE the Zoo...and the extra added bonus of having Daddy there (Aunt Erin and Gramma Tricia usually take the girls to the Zoo) made this a fantastic day.
We saw Tigers, and Lions and Elephants.
The Elephants were drinking, which led to me explaining to a 4 year old how their trunks work, and one of them pooped, which is OMG AMAZING THEY POOP SO BIG!! After that we go past some Giraffs, some Springboks (Which Elise is convinced are reindeer and Lydia wanted to know where Santa was hiding...we don't like Santa) and one old Rhino.
We saw Monkeys in the Primate House, The silly Gibbons swinging around, the Orangutang picking at his feet was good for some laughs, Elise thinks the Babboon is really a very hairy Pig, and the Gorillas were making weird noises.
We skirt around the food area as Aunt Erin digs into her bookbag to pull out some water and snack packs of cookies (Zoo food is overpriced, man) We skim past the Bears, who are obviously dying in the heat and have decided that they will do nothing more but lie around being big hairy lumps of fur and approach the Aquarium part of the zoo.
Cheers from the Peanuts, since we've been bugging Daddy and Aunt Erin for half an hour now to see the Jellyfish OMG JELLYFISH JJJEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
We walk into the Aquarium, check out all of the tanks with fish from different places in the USA.
Search for, and find, Nemo and Dory and all of their friends and giggle at the Penguins.
God Bless the Penguins, no matter when we go to the zoo there is always at least one Penguin who chills out in the water, swimming inches past the smooshed to the glass faces of the kids...and some adults (shut up Blake)
Lo and Behold! Right next to the Penguins are the Jellyfish!!! OMG JELLYFISH!! Happiness is achieved, everyone is happy...for a minute.
Then we have to move on, because what we have been badgering the adults about ALL FREAKING DAY, well we've seen them. Bored now. Move on.
Off to the Polar Bears...Mister Polar Bear is 80% submerged and dying of heat, not very interesting...
After the Polar Bear comes the Sea Otter...Oh you little bastard Sea Otter.
There are two of them, swimming around, looking all cute and innocent. Lies, all lies.
Lydia gets out of her stroller and smooshes her face up against the glass, Elise is with Daddy, looking at the Otters from another window.
Lydia gets excited, "Aunt Erin he's coming closer!!" Indeed he is, the blessed little creature is cruising around on his back, inches from the glass much to the delight of the kids.
He gets closer and closer, and proceeds to do a little otter flip in the water as he cruises up to Lydia...and when he breaks the surface again he is still swimming on his back, only now his wet, pink, erect Sea Otter penis is out for all the world to see.
And see it Lydia did.
"Aunt Erin!! Whats That?!? *Pointing*
"UM....Thats his finger"
Guy behind me with kid: "Nice cover"
Lydia: "Aunt Erin! Why is the Otter sucking on his finger!? Does he have a boo-boo?"
Aunt Erin: "..."
Guy Behind Me "LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF"
Aunt Erin: "Ok we're done here, wanna go see the Sharks?"
Lydia: "No I wanna watch the Otter"
Otter Auto Fellatio....you try saying that five times fast.