OR in the more eloquent words of my friend Kevin:
The Detroit Red Wings confronted a difficult loss tonight at the hands of the Pittsburgh Penguins in a rematch of last year's Stanley Cup finals.
Marian Hossa, playing against his old team was held without a goal and only two assists. The Red Wings, meanwhile, gave up a 5-2 lead to lose in overtime with the final score 7-6. They also allowed a 19 year old kid to score a hat-trick.
"Losing a game is always tough, especially when it is a team full of young guys and people who you were friends with" said Hossa.
When asked to comment on his 3-goal, 4-point night, Jordan Staal opted to refrain from commenting beyond whipping out his dick and smacking it against the Red Wing logo at center ice.
In response to the center-ice antics, Jiri Hudler of the Red Wings was overheard stating "Seriously, fuck these guys."